Once upon a time when I was in high school, things in my life weren’t going very well, in fact, things were downright disastrous, but I hid my problems well. Friends did not know that my life was really crumbling around me, nor did they know that I was unhappy in my relationship that was in for four years. No one truly knew what went on when no one was looking, nor did they believe me after everything was said and done. Mr. Man–who I finally left after becoming strong enough to realize I needed some self-respect–was more believable and charming because of his “I-can-do-no-wrong” looks and seemingly innocent personality; everyone believed his story over mine even after he stalked me for two years AFTER the relationship! Now he’s dating an ex-friend of mine which says a lot about her, picking up other people’s trash, but that’s a story for another time. I just hope she doesn’t realize too late what an emotional and sometimes physically abusive b*st*rd he is. Kids, don’t date the sullen depressed type, it’s not good for you or anyone else.

Anywho…

During high school, life literally sucked for me and it wasn’t because Ashley was dating Ricky, or Rachel kept getting pregnant, nor was it because a friend and I decorated my ex’s locker pink and  rigged it to play “Barbie Girl” every time he opened it (and oddly enough, this is the same friend who is now dating my ex), but because of everything my ex did to me. But then a group of friends and a little story came into my life, which helped me hang on to the few strands of sanity I had left.

I met Tala my junior year of high school, and honestly, I have no idea why I didn’t meet this girl earlier on my life. Our friendship really started when she followed me and my ex to one of the now-defunct stores in our region one day during lunch. As the story goes, her best friend was going to get dumped into a Long John Silver’s dumpster with someone else and Tala didn’t want part of it, which is how she ended up with me. Tala kinda reminded me of  a puppy, and I like puppies, so I wanted to keep the Tala puppy. I’m glad I did because I never had a best friend quite like her. How many girls nowadays can say they can truly rely on a friend the way I can Tala, because really folks, friendships just aren’t what they used to be anymore. Tala, in such a short time from the first time we met, became the solid friend I needed in my life. She was (and still is) my go-to girl, my one once of sanity, and the only person I can really sure my myriad of issues with. Tala is like a soulmate–which, off-topic, I believe a person can have a romantic, intellectual, animal, sibling, and friendship soulmate–in a friendship/sibling way because of how alike our senses of humor and lives are. When things are down, Tala is my port in the storm when I need her most, bless her soul for putting up with me almost seven years! And you guys are reading this going enough with the Tala-love, we get it. Well, you don’t get it, really because Tala is one of the reasons why I’m still here writing today, so my Tala-love has sentimental and emotional ties to it. To any girls out there reading this, I hope you all find a friend like Tala! *Hugs her Tala.*

There was a point to that, I’m getting to it now.

Tala is one-heck of a writer. She has ideas and great stories and she liked to share those ideas with friends. One of those stories happened to be shared with a whole group of us during high school, and that story–like Tala–helped me through a lot of difficult times. FT (I’ll only use the abbreviation) was a story about a character of Tala’s life and the people in it, as well as the character’s struggle with love and the light and dark within herself. Yea, this is glossed over, but trust me, it’s deep stuff. Tala decided to let us all take on characters to help her write the story or whatever and I agreed–reluctantly, at first, because one of the people writing was Tala’s best friend and she and I barely got along. The claws were always sharpened between us. My character, I will use her abbreviated name–Kit–was Tala’s character’s mom, which is odd for me because I never wanted to be a mother–real or imagined. If I remember correctly–and Tala, if I’m wrong, edit this post later–Kit was a surrogate mom–but real mom–to Tala’s character and Kit seemed to neglect Tala’s character because of various wars and Kojiro, that c**k-s*cking a$$h*le. Oh… sorry. Since everyone else involved in the story–Tala’s best friend and a few others– all really knew what the story was about, I was confused, so I–a person who just discovered she could write (another post, another time. I think I will do a series called “How the Art of Writing Saved My Life”)– decided to turn Kit into my own character. Bad idea. Rule number one, don’t take other’s characters and turn them into something you want; they’re not your characters. I turned Kit into someone desperate to have a relationship with the child she pretty-much neglected, a person who wanted to have a loving relationship with her husband–which played on my desires to have a loving, solid relationship with my ex even though I didn’t love him, but because, at the time, I felt I needed him–and a woman who wanted some sort of worth in her life. Kit, under my writing, was sad and almost tragic at times, and wildly humorous at times. I’m a sarcastic person, so my sarcasm leaked in. Kit, however, became therapy for me, as well as an idealized self; I was emotionally attached to my alter-ego even though she didn’t belong to me! And Tala’s best friend was P-Oed at this because I “ruined the character.” The “ruined character” let Tala’s best friend have it in the “Fridge” series. *Ehem.*

My writing for Kit kept me grounded because she was everything I wish I could have been. I was a very depressed person in high school because of my life dramas, but I knew that when I had the FT story binder and I was able to write for my character, I could escape myself and become the person I wished I was. Sure, Kit became what Tala didn’t have her drawn up as, but she was a great character when I wrote for her, that can’t be denied (I sound full of myself). Over time, Kit picked up my tragic personality, but at the same time, I started to pick up her strong traits I gave her and I learned how to fight for myself and become stronger! Kit became me; I became her! Kit’s strong personality and desire to do the right thing and find the love she wanted and the way she kicked butt entered into my soul, and the summer after high school graduation, my Kit transformation was complete and I was able to kick butt, too, and learn to fight for myself and what I wanted (again, another post for another time)! Tala may not know this, but I have her and Kit to credit for helping to keep me alive. Even thoguh I may have messed up Tala’s Kit character, she will always be my character who rescued me.

Besides Kit, two other characters were born–and most likely won’t be included in FT–and two other sides of my personality came to light (and no, I do not have split personality disorder). Ten’on was my weak emotional side, but she had glimmers of strength, much like me, and a hell of a lot of confusion. She was also most like Tala’s character, which, both Ten’on and Tala’s characters reflect us, so they’re like soulmates, too. Tsuyoi, was my ditzy self that had sexual-prowless and self-assurance, what I don’t have a lot of but sure does come out at certain moments. All of these characters come together to create the many facets of myself, which helped made me a stronger person. Cool!

Character creating is an art, my friends. As is writing.

My laptop battery is about to die again, so turn in for chapter two of my “Writing is an Art: Marisol’s Journey” series next time when I am fully charged! Thank you Tala and FT!!!

Love always,

Mari

Tags: Aqua, Barbie Girl, Fridge, Friendship, Kit, Kitana, Life Story, Love, Refridgerator, Soulmates, Ten'on, Tsuyoi, Writing