Tala here, after working on my tutorial, I’ve been dealing with my own relationship issues. Ever since I was little, I was always the girl who didn’t have any ‘real’ friends, just other friends who wanted to use her for some reasons. I used to have crushes on these guys, but of course, they didn’t like me (one did, but due to a friend issue, it didn’t last more than a week). Anyhow, I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, I’ve always wanted a dream guy to find me and take me away from all the hurt. I always draw what I feel when it comes to that as well, drawing my ideal guy, but not so much with looks, but the emotion, the action being shown. My ex was a very romantic guy, someone who was openly emotional, and yeah, that was wonderful for me. He came to see me, I had someone who told me everything I wanted to hear, but… sometime after my 20th birthday, we started to drift, and he ended up moving on to another girl.

Well, that indeed was a bit of a blow, but, let’s back up a little bit. Around the time we were drifting, I had met a friend. This friend of mine was a cool person to hang out, and his name was Kyojen, but I call him Kyo, or, more affecionately Kyo kyo. He and I hung out while I was being ignored by my current ex (who at the time wasn’t) and all the loneliness I felt, decimated. He was able to make all the pain and sadness go away just by being around me, and what I thought was cute from the very start, was that, he’d get a little jealous when other guys would show interest. From that point on, I don’t know what it was, but, I felt safe with him. We grew into greater friends, inseperable, we were a dynamic duo that everyone knew, they’d see us together and knew it just felt right. Click to read more …

Tags: destiny, Dreams, fear, heart, heartbroken, hope, Love, Rant, relationship, romance, sad, tears, tips, trouble

Aren’t you glad?! This is the last part, consisting of the background, which I made relatively simple, and can be done suuuper fast, at least this one anyway. I’ll be going about how to finish off your picture. Anyway, as a side rant, I went up to the College I want to attend, and all that happened was one screw up after another. They have my test scores and GPA all messed up, saying I got lower than what I KNOW I did. This is putting a LOT of stress on me right now, especially because I tried really hard and I was a good student. *30 minutes pass* Ok, so I took a break from writing out my rant, listened to a song called “When Reason Fails- Texhnolyze” and now I feel a bit better. I do love that song, and it explains my thoughts on a lot of things. Ah, those beautiful words, believe, hope, miracles, they all play a special part for me, but enough ranting on that, let’s go and finish this shall we?

So the first thing I did, I went back to the background layer, finding a good brush that I could use to shape clouds and the sky, I picked these colors, though you could use anything you want.

Click to read more …

Tags: anime, background, blue, bright, brush, brushes, circles, clothes, clothing, clouds, Color, coloring, colors, CS, dark, draw, guy, hair, high highs, how to, image, light, lines, Love, manga, moon, music, Night, paint, Photoshop, picture, Rant, real, realism, realistic, scenery, shades, shading, side, sky, song, strokes, tools, Tutorial, Tutorials, write, Writing

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Last night, I had the same dream twice. My boyfriend came over to my house to visit and we downstairs to my basement like we usually do. Instead, my basement was not my basement, but a maze with bright blue skies and tons of trees. My boyfriend and I decided to go through the maze which was not very hard because it seemed like we knew what direction we were going, like we had built-in GPS. We found two parts of the maze: a dark room that looked like my downstairs bathroom, and an area with a pipe. When we went through the pipe, there was all these birds, water, and trees. Pelicans basked on the rocks; two falcons swooped and danced in the sky. We were in awe and happy here. We turned around and came back out of the maze and went back upstairs to my living room where my entire family was. They were all preparing for something; my mom was mixing punch,  my dad was going through papers, my niece was dusting some knick-knacks, and my dog was chewing a bone, wagging her tail. My boyfriend and I sat down and started to sort through my baseball cards so we can finish putting them in alphabetical order. Then my mom comes out of the kitchen and says the punch was ready and asked us all if everything was in order. My dad and niece said “yes,” and my boyfriend asked what we were supposed to be ready for. My dad said that this world  was just not worth living in anymore and that we were all committing a mass suicide in my basement by drinking my mom’s punch (don’t drink the Koolaid!). At first,my boyfriend and I agreed to do this, so he and my dad went downstairs to wait for the rest of us. I had just finished putting my cards in order and my niece hugged my dog. I looked over at my furry best friend and started to cry, asking who would take care of her after we were gone. My niece got concerned and hugged my dog who was just looking at me with her sad eyes and tail wagging. My mom came out of the kitchen again and said for us to go downstairs. I looked down at my baseball cards and my eyes caught an Eddie Murray Montreal Expos card and I asked my mom if she can send my boyfriend upstairs a minute so I can talk to him before we joined the rest of the family. She told him, he came upstairs and we both realized how stupid committing suicide was because both of us had so much we wanted to do in our lives. We took my dog and escaped to the bird-filled nature area never to look back. Then I woke up. Click to read more …

Tags: 2009, Art, Dogs, Dream Analysis, Dreams, Falcons, Family, Golden Retrievers, Jonestown, Koolaid, psychology, psychology of dreams, Rant, Relationships, Suicide, Tutorials

Just recently, I read shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/true-dating-confession-i-m-worried-that-i-ll-never-get-married-334309/" target="_blank">a blog from someone who feared she would never get married. Like this blogger, I feel the same way. I’m only 23 (well, almost), but I’ve seen several of my friends get hitched, even though I’ve been in a relationship the longest. What gives? Fear of commitment? Fear of marriage? Fear on behalf of my boyfriend of taking the plunge and getting on one knee? Who knows. No matter, I still feel as if I will never get married.

Sometimes, it feels like both my boyfriend and I have commitment issues. Sure, we have no problem getting close, but sometimes, it feels like when we get TOO CLOSE, we push away from each other and fights ensue. And sure, last November 5, we had a lovely little commitment ceremony on a very blustery, freezing, and dark evening, but actual marriage seems like a distant goal. And heck, we plan on living together very soon (hopefully by January), but there’s “living together” and then there’s living together.  “Living together” is like playing house. You can come and go as you please, go home to mummy and daddy whenever, fight and breakup, and that’s that. But then there’s living together, through better, for worse, forever. No breaking up; no playing house. It is house! Catch my drift? I don’t want to play house. I want to be a wife, a graduate student, and I want to be an actual adult taking care of things like actual adults do. I don’t want to be someone who, when the going gets tough, we part ways and go crawling back home. Uh-uh, not my style.

Today, I read about another friend of mine who got married. How nice! Then I look at myself and wonder why it hasn’t happened for me. Am I too overbearing? Too much of a pushover? too cynical? Needy? Am I pushing things too much? Maybe I am, because I have my wedding theme, I know how I want my wedding dress to look, I’ve chosen my wedding party, what the bridesmaid dresses would look like, my flowers, jewelry, veil, where I want to get married, where I want my honeymoon… maybe too much planning puts a nail in the engagement coffin? But I’m a Capricorn, I like to plan and have things orderly. Heck, I even know how I can save money and cut corners! Maybe I am pushing things a little? Click to read more …

Tags: Bliss, Blogs, Engagement, Family, House, Marriage, Married, Rant, Wedding, Wedding Rings, yahoo Shine

What’s this weird stuff we call art anyway? Is it a painting? Is it a picture? Is it this:

These have all ended up in art shows. There’s something special about the fountain one (the urinal). First off, its what they call “found art.” Marcel Duchamp didn’t create the urinal. Also, it was created to test the limits of what might be accepted by artists. Click to read more …

Tags: Art, art show, art snob, Rant, snobs

Good evening, y’all! As if you didn’t know, it’s time for my weekly rant. I didn’t have a rant session last week, so you know what that means? Yep, I’m going to talk your heads off. Well, it’s also late in my corner of the United States, so I will write for as long as I can stay awake. I have a psychology final tomorrow and I’m crashing fast from studying, but I will try anyway. =^_^=

Since it’s the Christmas season, I feel that I should discuss the “War on Christmas.” Alex and I were driving around after our class the other night and I noticed that no one decorates for Christmas anymore. Both of the downtown area shopping districts we’re by no longer decorate the storefront windows or the streets–it’s totally bleak. None of the houses that used to be decorated to the Nines are no longer decorated. Alex and I can drive for blocks without seeing a single decoration or Christmas light. Yes, granted the economy sucks right now and people can’t afford much, but the lack of Christmas has been happening for the past five years. I remember being young and my family would pile into my dad’s pickup and we would drive around the neighborhoods staring in awe at the Christmas lights that were everywhere!

Now, we’re in awe at the darkness. Click to read more …

Tags: Christmas, Christmas Lights, Holidays, Rant, War on Christmas

It is that time of week again where I, Marisol, stray from the usual posts and talk about what is on my mind. Regular posts will resume soon.

Twenty-six days until Christmas! Yahoo! I am so excited! Even though I am almost 23 (my birthday is right after Christmas; Tala’s birthday is on Christmas), Christmas is still the best time of the year for me. However, this Christmas is a bit depressing for me… well, the past few Christmases have been rather depressing for me. My family has not been together for Christmas in forever because my brother moved to Florida, got married, and had a baby that looks like an old man; he refuses to speak to my family and he has threatened me. My sister has not spoken to my family for close to four years ever since we could not loan her money that she never pays back. The last time I have seen my whole family together was right after my dad’s heart attack. My brother and sister have issues, but some other people in my family are a bit missed up and controlling, as well. And there is my boyfriend… let us just say he has not been very nice to me and I feel like I do not matter and that I am just here for him to yell at. Maybe when we move out things will be better… I do not know. Click to read more …

Tags: Art, Blue Christmas, Boyfriend, Buddha, Depression, Erotica, Gifts, Harmony, Rant, Sadness